Father’s Day can be an empowering day.
Today is father’s day. Again. Haha. Every year, it happens again! Kind of hard to forget it given all the emails and ads on internet about it. I was gonna skip it since last year I had written my “peace”. I was just gonna go about the day like any other day. I mean, this is just a commercial day, not coming from any real old tradition, than creating some activity and sales for businesses. And there is nothing wrong about this… Let the fathers (who deserve it :P) and their loved kids enjoy the day and give each other gifts, spend (hopefully quality) time together…
No, I promise you, I’m not bitter or sarcastic. Last year I started a process to make peace with this special day and its meaning. And I did make some great progress. I feel light. I feel OK. I feel internal PEACE.
And today I’d like to go further, because it’s one thing to wish a happy father’s day to the fathers and their beloved daughters, sons… But today, I want to wish a Happy Day to all the others and especially to everyone whose relationship with their father is “broken”.
To all of us.
I’m not intending to be preachy, or play a therapist that I’m not. I’m just speaking from my heart and from my life experience. Let’s make today a happy day. An EMPOWERING one.
Yes, it’s father’s day. This day has always been an “opportunity” (a dark one until last year) to dive right back in the reflection of my relationship (or rather non-relationship) with my own father (or rather non-father)…
He chose to not love me. Was it a choice? That may not be the right word. There’s always circumstances, reasons, shadows, secrets… and mysteries. Who knows how they justify their choice or absence or lack of love or whatever it is.
Of course for a very long time, most of my life, I looked at myself as being the mistake, being responsible, being the cause, trying to figure out what was wrong with me… thinking I was un-love-able.
Love stories. Some work. Some don’t.
And time goes by… And with time, wisdom starts to show itself… it seems…
Rather than looking at it from the point of view of UNLOVE… What about looking at it from the opposite way: LOVE.
Can anyone explain love?
When I think of love stories, the idea of being, COMPATIBLE, a FIT, or MATCH, or SOULMATES come with it. So perhaps we simply were not a fit?
Love stories. Some work. Some don’t. We don’t mourn all our lives the first love who broke our heart, do we? It just didn’t work out.
And I made a song out of it. Papa m’aime pas (Daddy doesn’t love me).
The open wound carved inside me… that’s a gift!
Which leads me to my last thought of the day. I’m actually grateful that he didn’t love me. No, I’m not sick. I’m an artist. Big difference lol! Or maybe not haha!
I’m not gonna thank him for making me who I am, because he was not there to make me anything. My mom was. So was my godfather. But the open wound that his absence of love carved inside me… that’s a gift! THE GIFT. A well of inspiration that I draw from to create, a treasury that feeds my artistry. That gave me my first song idea that ended up released by Universal-Music France and sky-rocketed me in the French pop music landscape. That gave me many more stories that I’m writing, dark, funny, and a range of emotions that I embrace and let out for the camera or on stage for the characters I get the opportunity to bring to life.
It made me rich. Wealthy. EMPOWERED. And let’s not forget LOVED by all the friends and FANS… A gift, I can only be thankful for.
So?… What are YOU gonna do with your wound?
Daughters, Sons and Non-Binary…. Whoever you are, whatever your age… Have a Happy F***** Day, my friends.
******I leave it up to you to choose what you’re gonna make of the F***** word. It could be the F-cursing word or the F-word that defines the essence of today ;)